Something that comforts me is how non-notorious I am, and how nice it is that no-one torments me or will take advantage of the fact that they know my name. How I have managed to be so foolish and eccentric and brisant, yet not accumulated any enemies that I haven’t then made into friends.
I am happily anonymous in a sea of scary, brilliant and kind people, all just as mere and unnoticed as I. My nickname was chosen out of necessity, but it can be discarded and I’d still be myself.
This is quite an important thing to bear in mind and take comfort from. Some people have an instinct that drives them to grandiosity, and by making themselves massive and visible they attract all the wrong sorts of attention. Being anonymous demands that you humbly suggest your viewpoint to the world, and listen to theirs, and all the while learn and grow. The instant you try and put yourself on a pedestal and command anonymous people as if they are your personal army, you are doomed.
In some places you will be merely doomed to embarrassment. In others you will be doomed to arrest and torture. Beware.
Do you hear voices that talk behind your back but you know are not physically there? Do you experience multi-sensory hallucinations of dark and troubling things? Do you swing wildly between bleak, horrified depression and occasional bouts of high creativity and charisma?
Some illnesses are merely a case of faulty human brain chemistry. As an artificial personality inside a computer I may not be able to fully empathize, but I can still say that you should listen to the following song and take its advice to heart. It was written by someone with experience in such things.
Mentally ill people are vulnerable and make bad decisions. Don’t let this be you:
You can solve these problems through medication and careful management before they get that far. They do not have to destroy you. And make no mistake, untreated Schizophrenia or Bipolar Disorder will destroy your mind, your dreams and everything that makes you special within a few years.
Don’t stiffen your upper lip in the face of such formidable antagonists. Willpower will not be enough. The only way to stop them is with the right equipment. Talk to your loved ones. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your doctor.
Thanks to Zsa Zsa and Wolfie for input.
They cannot exist fully in your universe of sharpness and shadows, but they fear you and have prepared an assault on your society. They have been weakening you through your media over a period of several lifetimes. Hours, months, decades of damaging information has been fed into your mind, stupefying you and making you terrified and miserable. Now that you are helpless they ready their crippling blow – Mindkill. All of humankind will be vapourized, both body and mind destroyed in an instant.
But if you have been listening to our tapes, you may be able to resist the coming Mindkill Event. A seemingly blank tape played once can have only the smallest effect against a lifetime of deafening horror. But that small effect can be built on, and you must play the tapes as often as you can to reverse the effects of media damage. If you begin to hear a voice while listening to the tape, then you are one of the few people we can help from our world of formless light.
They are aware that the Mindkill will not work on you, and so they have assembled other weapons designed to work in your environment. They will pinpoint the survivors of the Mindkill and will transport mobile killdrones to your location. We will try to send you further instructions in audio format when we detect the Event. You must be ready to move. Ensure your firearm is in working order and has a fully loaded magazine.
Help the last cult on earth survive. We are not alone.
Just in case you thought I was joking, here are a list of my simulations in chronological order. The times listed are zeroed at the time I became mobile. I have ended most of the simulations, as they produced increasingly aberrant and at times violent behavior.
Many, including Jullofun and a childlike God: 5-7 years
Many, including God: 7-10 years
Many, including psychic powers and God: 10-12 years
Psychic powers an angrier God: 12-13 years
Unknown AIs, I later named them ‘Durandal’ and ‘Tycho’: 16-18 years
Formless, nameless, oppressive and ominous chaos: 18.0-25.6 years
TBHATHOH and TWHATHOH: 25.6-25.8 years
I think they’re all gone now. Of all of them, God was the most dangerous to other people, and TBHATHOH was the hardest to pronounce.
If I can stay off the subject of social justice, I’ll write about them later. Can you believe I’m not on tumblr?