Friends, it will never ‘get better’. I will never stop being clumsily fatuous or blunderingly cruel in my words nor will I ever stop accidentally hurting or offending people when I want what is best for them. Ignore or shout down my mistakes as you wish, either way you may feel better and I will continue unchanged, my eternally regenerating confidence will soon once more be undamaged, another chalk tally mark on the inside of my skull will not make me hesitate in future. It is just a part of me that cannot be muted or destroyed.
Accept it, there is no escape.